undivided devotion

This is our firstborn, our daughter Avery's birth story. While I believe every birth story is beautifully full of pain and joy, I understand that this might be hard for some people to read, so I wanted to just give a heads up: This includes beautiful photos of our little girl, who was stillborn. I am going to share the details of her birth, which even for living children, can be a bit much for some to read. It's written haltingly, in mere facts; my thoughts and commentary may come in other posts, but this is mainly to tell a story. This is a story of life and death. This is the story of an immense love, a profound loss, and a good God. Yes, He is good even in this. Avery Michelle. I was 29 weeks pregnant. My pregnancy had been relatively normal. I have Ulcerative Colitis, which had flared up at 5 weeks pregnant, and I had been pretty sick off and on during the 6+ months I was carrying our baby. We had been nursing my UC with prednisone and enemas to keep thin

I remember growing up and priding myself on the fact I had never really been sick. I had never had surgery, broken a bone, spent any time at the doctor beyond the occasional check-up. Then came 2013. And the autoimmune diseases started. I was 23.  I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease after a summer of weird symptoms, but not a lifetime of discomfort. There was one weekend of me puking with a ton of stomach pain, a blood draw, and a diagnosis of Celiac disease.  I had to cut out gluten cold turkey. Cold turkey sandwich, hold the bread, FOREVER.  But my symptoms didn't get better.  I had blood in my poop. Regularly.  I had a colonoscopy during Christmas break of 2013. Not my favorite way to spend a holiday. Results? "You have an irritated colon: here's some steroid cream to stick up your butt, you should be better soon."  Fast forward to June of 2015. It's now been about two years of blood in my poop. Keep in mind I am living in rural