undivided devotion

It's been a year and a half since I have last written on this blog. A year and a half of being stretched and pulled, built up, humbled, all through stumbling and small, baby steps, struggling and fighting to see grace as it was meant to be seen. I do not feel as though I have any profound new truths or big growths to show for the last year and a half. I do not find myself full of deep wisdom or steadiness. Instead it's merely felt like life. Messy, stumbling life. A life in constant, dull throbbing need for the grace of a Savior. For daily grace in daily failure. I find myself in the tension between deep thanks for what God has blessed me with - home, job, adventures, sweet moments with dear people that choose to love me even at my worst, and the struggle with restlessness and discontent - in self, in situation, in the slow, painful process of sanctification. I have held those who have been broken as they cry for hope, crying for a hope only a God they do not know ye