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Knowledge and action.

It's Missions Conference.

A week where information and experience, tradition and opinion are hurled passionately at me from people who must know better than me.

Most people I have talked with would affirm that it can feel overwhelming.
So much said, so much truth, so many new ideas and you can be left struggling for air.
It's like eating rich, hearty meals every few hours for a couple days, when all you really want is a salad.

I have been advised to take just one or two things away. To not try to soak up everything, but just cling to one or two things. Great advice. Hard to do.

Calling, martyrdom, prayer, global awareness, hurting people, helpless children, social justice, the gospel.

All these needs that are pressing, that as believers we are called to combat or engage. I should feel empowered, yet I'm left feeling guilty. Guilty that my perspective is so small, and my time so wasted. Guilty that my heart isn't more shattered or my calling  more clear. Guilty about feeling guilty.

How do we interact in global missions?
If I am aware of the needs of every country in the world, what do I do with the weight of being overwhelmed by that need? With our ability to easily access more information with more accuracy than ever before, are we not left with a greater pain of knowing the extent of deprivation? Is that information that the Lord really wants us to have to wrestle with? How do we fight what seems a hopeless fight toward redemption in a world that is heading toward ultimate destruction? Why does this seem a more noble cause?

What is call? Why are some so certain? Am I just not listening? Is that even how God works?

Knowledge can be heavy. There is a certain responsibility that comes along with education. There is a pressure of action with education that can be numbed over time. I do not want to be numb. But I also don't know what to do with the weight of knowledge that presses so profoundly over my soul.

Two things. Take two things.

1) God is sovereign. I often find myself not truly believing the extent of this truth.

God is sovereign. His plan is perfect. His hand has not left his children. He does not need our help to accomplish his purpose, in both my life and the lives of all. When I am overwhelmed, I need to cling to this trust: he is working, whether I am aware or not, whether I am broken over the needs or not. I need not feel hopeless with the desperation today.

2) Be wise with my time. I have one purspose: to glorify God, loving him in every aspect, every stretch of my being.

My life is not my own. I need to keep my purpose at the forefront. I need his help in doing so. In a culture riddled with easy access distractions, momentary numbing agents, I can forget. He gives grace in my failure. And I need that extra push from him to use my time well. May I not waste what is profoundly a gift from him, a gift to borrow for a little while: time.

Alright, Missions Conference. Bring it on.

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