Practice what I preach? What now?

How do you go from knowing something, to living something?
It seems that anytime I talk about something, I know the reality, I know the wise thing, the right thing, but when it comes down to it, I really am not that great at living it.

I keep hoping that I'll get it.

I keep hoping that what I know, what I hold to as conviction, is going to somehow embed itself into my thoughts and actions. How? When?

Eeesh.

How can truth seem so far from my ability to make it a reality?

How do you take knowledge, understanding, wisdom even, and turn it into action, into feeling, into being?

I cannot.

I am unable.

But, the Lord is able. And as much as it is difficult for me to feel that, even when my mind knows it is a truth, I need to cling to that truth. Hold to it. Fight for it.

"May the God of peace... equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him" - Hebrews 13:20-21.

I need his equipping power upon my life, my actions, my intentions, my emotions.

I will not arrive in this life at the perfection I hope for.

But his grace is great in the faltering steps I daily set my mind out to take.

Comments

I miss you in the exact same moments.

Today marks eleven months since our daughter Avery died inside me. Eleven months since we saw her beautiful face for the first and last time. Eleven months of feeling so proud to have had her as our child, and so broken that we didn't get to keep her here with us. And in a couple days, our second daughter will be born. Not even a whole year since we said goodbye. As many moms that have lost their babies too soon would tell you, pregnancy after loss is not for the faint of heart. Our story of getting pregnant again is an incredible one. Every time I think about it, it floors me. (See our previous blog post). God has gifted us AGAIN with another beautiful daughter. But, there are pieces of it all that I find myself pulled in every direction. Every time someone congratulates me on being pregnant, a part of me wants to scream about it, knowing that there is no guarantee we get to bring home this baby girl. A part of me wants to stop them and tell them abo...

Avery's Birth Story

This is our firstborn, our daughter Avery's birth story. While I believe every birth story is beautifully full of pain and joy, I understand that this might be hard for some people to read, so I wanted to just give a heads up: This includes beautiful photos of our little girl, who was stillborn. I am going to share the details of her birth, which even for living children, can be a bit much for some to read. It's written haltingly, in mere facts; my thoughts and commentary may come in other posts, but this is mainly to tell a story. This is a story of life and death. This is the story of an immense love, a profound loss, and a good God. Yes, He is good even in this. Avery Michelle. I was 29 weeks pregnant. My pregnancy had been relatively normal. I have Ulcerative Colitis, which had flared up at 5 weeks pregnant, and I had been pretty sick off and on during the 6+ months I was carrying our baby. We had been nursing my UC with prednisone and enemas to keep thin...

Ulcerative Colitis: the story of a sick, bleeding colon

I remember growing up and priding myself on the fact I had never really been sick. I had never had surgery, broken a bone, spent any time at the doctor beyond the occasional check-up. Then came 2013. And the autoimmune diseases started. I was 23. I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease after a summer of weird symptoms, but not a lifetime of discomfort. There was one weekend of me puking with a ton of stomach pain, a blood draw, and a diagnosis of Celiac disease. I had to cut out gluten cold turkey. Cold turkey sandwich, hold the bread, FOREVER. But my symptoms didn't get better. I had blood in my poop. Regularly. I had a colonoscopy during Christmas break of 2013. Not my favorite way to spend a holiday. Results? "You have an irritated colon: here's some steroid cream to stick up your butt, you should be better soon." Fast forward to June of 2015. It's now been about two years of blood in my poop. Keep in mind I am living in...

undivided devotion

Search This Blog